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Estrella: When did Home Grown start?
Adam: No, can't ask questions like that.
Estrella: Well shit.
Adam: They're bad, no.
Band Slut: Why did your video get banned off MTV?
Dan: Cause we party too hard.
Adam: That's right, cause we party too hard. They didn't like seeing covered boobies.
Dan: Yea.
Adam: Yea, and they really didn't like uncensored version. That was just weird.
Bandslut: How did you guys come up with the name?
Adam: Home Grown?
Bandslut: There are stories but..
Dan: Just a band name, it doesn't mean anything.
Broken Voices: Are you just saying that cause we're taping?
Dan: No, it really doesn't mean anything.
Adam: No, it doesn't.
Bandslut: You just randomly thought of it one day?
Dan: Yup.
Adam: Well, there's members before us that thought of it.
Estrella: I thought you were an original member?
Adam: We are, but there's members before that did parties. I'm an original member who played the first actual concert, if that makes sense.
Bandslut: In a way it does, yea
Broken Voices: Yeah.
Bandslut: Since you obviously like video games, what are your favorites besides Tekken?
Adam: Tekken Tag, those are the only games really worth playing to be honest with you, and we remain still to this day unbeaten, unchallanged.
Estrella: How do you like tour, or Drive Thru Invasion Tour?
Broken Voices: Why are you asking thinking questions?
Adam: Touring is fun.
Dan: Touring, yea, it's cool.
Adam: Touring is alot of alcohol.
Dan: Yea.
Adam: And loving and, what is touring Dan?
Estrella: What the hell?
Adam: What is touring to Home Grown?
Dan: Touring is life.
Adam: It is, it's a way of life.
Dan: It's what we do.
Bandslut: What would you do if it all ended tomorrow? Not saying it will.
Broken Voices: You can stay at home and play video games?
Adam: "Hi, my name is Adam may I take your order please?"
Dan: Drink heavily.
Adam: Yea, I'd drink heavily, yea.
Broken Voices: If you could have one super power, what would it be?
Dan: Flight.
Adam: The ability to lose weight at will, Yea, I'd be a hot one.
Estrella: Tell me, you have your lip peirced.
Adam: It did and it came out at the show.
Broken Voices: I heard about that.
Adam: So, if anyone has my lip ring, my fourth one, thank you, for this tour.
Bandslut: What is your view on the current mainstream, like all the punk making a comeback?
Dan: Their videos are cool, if your band is good that's rad, then good for you
Adam: Actually screamo's making the thing right now, not really punk, it's more emo, it's more melodic emo
Broken Voices: Yea it is.
Estrella: Brand New.
Dan: Brand New is an awesome band.
Adam: Yea Brand New rips.
Estrella: Definitely.
Adam: Brand New, Senses Fail, Letter Kills, Thursday.
Estrella: And Taking Back Sunday.
Adam: There's alot of bands, and this other band I heard, was it Every Time I Die, that's another band.
Estrella: Spitalfield.
Broken Voices: From Autumn To Ashes.
Adam: There's alot of bands that are really good. I'm happy for it.
Bandslut: Who would be your dream band to tour with?
Dan: Recover.
Adam: Yes, Recover
Estrella: You guys like Recover? Ohmygod, they're awesome.
Adam: They are. Points for you.
Dan: They are wicked good.
Adam: Yes.
Dan: Them and AC/DC.
Adam: Adam: Yea, and the Cure, they sound real good live.
Bandslut & Broken Voices: The Cure.
Adam: They sounded really good live, I heard them on my cell phone live, really good.
Bandslut: What is the one thing you can't forget to bring on tour with you?
Dan: Condoms, magnum, big dick condoms.
Adam: Yes.
Bandslut: So, is it true you all have huge packages?
Estrella: Oh, where's Darren for this one?
Dan: Yea we do, I'd actually pull out my dick and show you, but I can't get a boner right now.
Adam: Compared to the other bands on tour I'd say yea.
Dan: Yea, we have the biggest dicks out of all the bands.
Broken Voices: Yea, you guys like have contests, where you stare at each others dicks?
Adam: We have all seen each others dicks.
Dan: Yea.
Bandslut: How do you guys feel about being called the old guys?
Dan: Old guys?
Adam: We're only a couple years older than the rest of the guys.
Dan: Yea, they like to use that "couple years older". Well these bands have only been together for like, 6 months, and they got signed to Drive Thru and became big.
Adam: We've been doing this since we we're fifteen and a half.
Dan: Yea, all these other bands, think you know, they're cool, but they'll be dead in three years.
Adam: That's right.
Bandslut: How did you guys meet, like the whole band? We're you guys friends in like high school or some shit?
Dan: It was actually mid-orgy.
Adam: You can go in and explain it if you like.
Broken Voices: Yea, explain the orgy in detail to us.
Dan: Alright, this girl is working on my balls as I was fingering her ass a little bit and I looked over and Adam was fingering this other girl's ass, and I was like, "Damn this is good technique" and he's like "Yea man, he's all hey, you play guitar?" and I'm like "Yea."
Adam: Cause you're pretty good with your fingers, have they ever touched any strings in your lifetime?
Dan: And I'm like of course, so I pulled a couple of her pubic hairs out and showed him I could pluck.
Adam: Yea.
Dan: That's basically how it all started.
Adam: And he was in.
Dan: Yea.
Broken Voices: So, it started because of some fingering someone's ass.
Dan: Basically.
Bandslut: That is the greatest story.
Adam: Yea, to sum it up.
Estrella: Do you have crazy fans?
Broken Voices: Like people that stalk you and try to rape you?
Dan: Yea, but we just rape them so they go away.
Adam: And not this show, but the last 3, 3 or 4 shows, I've had 40 year old plus women infactuated with me, it was really creepy, one mom was really pretty at the Cat's Cradle, she was really cute, she was pretty.
Bandslut: What are your guys' plans for the rest of the year? And is there a new album being worked on or anything?
Adam: Mhm.
Estrella: Oh, there has to be a new album.
Adam: There is, I was working on a new song today in this very room.
Estrella: Well, I'm happy that means tour.
Adam: We're doing recording right after this tour.
Estrella: And there has to be another tour after that.
Adam: In February I would say. We're gonna be in the UK in January again. So we're gonna do that.
Estrella: Okay, looks like we have to go buy plane tickets guys.
Broken Voices: What's everybody in the bands worst habits?
Adam: Mine's chewing things, obviously, gum and straws.
Dan: I'm into cocaine.
Adam: Yea and you're gonna cut that shxt out, when this tour is over.
Dan: I don't think so man, white drugs for life.
Bandslut: Don't you think that's racist against other drugs?
Adam: This is an argument we have alot and he's being a jerk by bringing it up.
Estrella: Oh, it's Johnee.
Adam: Him too.
Bandslut: Hello, we're in the middle of an interview would you like to comment on anything?
Johnee: [sings] Can I drink a Bud Light, trying to lose some weight today.
Estrella: That was good. That should make a record.
Adam: I told you. That was a good interview though.
Estrella: Oh no, this is pretty crazy, I still can't believe I'm here.
Adam: What's another question
Broken Voices: Who has the biggest package?
Adam: Well, that would be Steve.
Dan: Steve, our merch guy.
Adam: Steve, our merch guy, has the biggest one.
Bandslut: Johnee told me different.
Dan: What'd he say?
Estrella: More like Darren, Darren told us to start rumors and tell everyone you all have big members, so then maybe you get more groupies.
Dan: I don't know when it's time for me to pull at my dick and show you, but I can't really fluff it up.
Adam: Stevie is a good nine, if not ten.
Dan: Fuck him, he's six.
Bandslut: Where do you guys keep the rulers?
Estrella: Yea, you guys have like little things written down.
Broken Voices: Or do you just have sizes of dicks memorized.
Adam: I'm eight. [To Dan] I don't know what yours is.
Dan: I don't even know what it is.
Bandslut: But you saw him with that girl, remember?
Adam: I saw him with a girl?
Bandslut: Yea how the band started, you know?
Dan: Are these like real questions? Are you gonna print these? What is this for?
Bandslut: Bandslut Online.
Broken Voices: And Broken Voices Online, it's two e-zines, it's like a magazine that's online.
Estrella: Well no shit.
Broken Voices: We're too poor to print it out.
Bandslut: We're friends. We've just have competition.
Adam: Online is bigger anyways, online's hotter.
Estrella: Everyone's online.
Dan: Okay what else?
Adam: You can go to our website homegrownonline.com
Estrella: I go there like everyday.
Adam: You do?
Estrella: Yeah.
Adam: And nothing happens does it?
Estrella: Right now it's like down.
Dan: Did you see the new shit they sent?
Adam: What?
Dan: The new website shit?
Adam: It's horse shit.
Johnee: Hey, hey, hey, I already fucking fired those guys already.
Bandslut: Do you guys have many messages for your fans? We can think of better questions than that.
Broken Voices: What about all the fans that want your balls, that come up and they're like "we just wanna rape you."
Dan: You guys sound like you wanna get in the mix or something back here with all these dick questions.
Adam: The mix.
Bandslut: Go Laurren. I think the door has a lock on it.
Adam: It does. It does have a lock on the door.
Dan: It does, it does have a lock.
Adam: And that is Home Grown ladies and gentlemen.
Bandslut: Any last words?
Dan: Don't smoke crack.
Broken Voices: Are you sure?
Dan: Pretty positive that's about it.
Adam: He would be the man to tell you.
[Eric, their guitar tech, walks in]
Estrella: Are you Steve?
Eric: I am Steve if you want me to be.
Dan: This is Eric, he has a big dick as well.
Eric: Yeah, real big dick.
Dan: He's our guitar tech and everybody that works for Home Grown and is in Home Grown, you know, is somewhat affiliated with a giant dick.
Eric: That's like the requirements, like they don't care if I'm good at what I do, they just want to see my dick, if it's over eight inches, I'm in.
Dan: Do you guys wanna see his dick? You guys wanna see dicks? Are you still recording, you have to answer it.
Estrella: We are still recording. Are you still recording?
Broken Voices: Yes, I am.
Dan: Do you guys want us to lock the door and make some magic happen. We need a yes or a no.
Adam: We will be careful.
Dan: Okay.
Adam: Well thank you for doing the interview.
Bandslut: That was the greatest interview we've ever had.
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